Holy Dependence
If you have been married for any period of time, surely your heart is aware of the many temptations regarding your dependence and independence towards your God-given head. In this section, I pray that the LORD will guide us to fitting Scriptures and reveal practical examples of the mysteries of iniquity surrounding dependence and independence. To introduce what I seek to describe unto you herein, Biblical righteous orderly dependence and independence will be described. Thereafter I will LORD-willing give practical examples of both unrighteous dependence and unrighteous independence while making the case that these are both manifestations of insubjection of the soul to the God-given head.
Unrighteous Dependence: We are aware of a great temptation to many of us: the idolatry of our husbands. This idolatry involves a heart that is affected more by the husband than the LORD Jesus Christ, longs more for the husband than the LORD Jesus Christ, loves the husband more than the LORD Jesus Christ, depends on the husband more than the LORD Jesus Christ….it is vile idolatry. It is making a false god out of a man of God! It is a false religion. It is rebellion against our King. It is witchcraft!
“10 Said with a loud voice, Stand upright on thy feet. And he leaped and walked.11 And when the people saw what Paul had done, they lifted up their voices, saying in the speech of Lycaonia, The gods are come down to us in the likeness of men.12 And they called Barnabas, Jupiter; and Paul, Mercurius, because he was the chief speaker.13 Then the priest of Jupiter, which was before their city, brought oxen and garlands unto the gates, and would have done sacrifice with the people.14 Which when the apostles, Barnabas and Paul, heard of, they rent their clothes, and ran in among the people, crying out,15 And saying, Sirs, why do ye these things? We also are men of like passions with you, and preach unto you that ye should turn from these vanities unto the living God, which made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and all things that are therein:16 Who in times past suffered all nations to walk in their own ways.17 Nevertheless He left not himself without witness, in that he did good, and gave us rain from heaven, and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness.” (Acts 14:10-17)
Unrighteous Independence: And yet we are also aware of the temptation to isolate ourselves from our husbands, to think, feel, and live as though we do not need them in soul, body, and spirit, to think that we may go on with God in our redemptive course without him, that we can run faster than him or run without him…it is vile pride. It is blatant insubjection. It is a self-exalting belief in self-sufficiency, omnipotence, omniscience…she has placed herself on the throne of her heart and defied the living God!
“17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:18 I counsel thee to buy of Me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with Me.” (Rev 3:17-20)
Righteous Dependence
In the wisdom of God revealed to us in His WORD thus far, it ought to be utterly clear to us that we are and should be dependent upon our husbands. For the very purging fires and washing floods with the WORD that our husbands bring upon us are for the salvation of our souls! His protection of our souls from Eve’s beguilement which is effective only with our humble and meek subjection reveals that we are dependent. The truth that we are created for our men of God reveals that we are dependent; we were created from man and for man. As weaker vessels, they are our heads, our coverings, our lords, our masters, our priests, our kings, our teachers, our shepherds, and all of these things in an under-sense, under Christ the Head and Covering, our LORD of lords, our Master, our atoning High Priest, our King of kings, our great Teacher, the Good Shepherd…oh praise Christ, the pre-eminent one. He is all! (please read “My Soul He Hath Purged” for more edification on the pre-eminence of Christ as a healing balm for the chastening for the idolatry of men).
To enlighten the eyes of our understanding to the dependence which is not only permitted, but is also commanded by the LORD Jesus Christ for us to have towards our husband, we will mention Scriptures we have mentioned prior. Additionally we will turn to several principles that are shown regarding the woman’s righteous dependence from the book of the Song of Solomon. For in this book, the righteous heart of the bride is described, and expounded upon in intricate soul-shaking detail.
Scriptural Aspects of a Woman’s Righteous Dependence
1. Subjection—it is her salvation
“22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body.24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Eph 5:22-24)
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands” (1 Pet 3:1a)
“Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” (1 Pet 3:6)
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Cor 11:3)
6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. (1 Cor 11:6-7)
2. Woman was Created for the Man (therefore she is not independent from but dependent upon him)
8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Cor 11:8-9)
18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. (Gen 2:18-23)
3. She Must be Taught by the Man
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it;26 That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word,27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Eph 5:25-27)
11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. (1 Tim 2:11-12)
5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. (1 Cor 11:5)
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. (1 Pet 3:4)
4. Holy Fervor (effects in the heart, reins, emotions, passions
- Longing/Pursuit
4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.5 Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.6 His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me. (SoS 2:4-6)
By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. 2 I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.3 The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?4 It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me. (SoS 3:1-4)
- Belonging
16 My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. (SoS 2:16)
3 I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies. (SoS 6:3)
- Holy Reverence
11 His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven.12 His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set.13 His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh.14 His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires.15 His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.16 His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (SoS 5:11-16)
- Continual Remembrance
13 A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.(Sos 1:13)
- Single-eyes for the Man
3 As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (SoS 2:3)
10 My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. (SoS 5:10)
- Taking Pleasure in the Man
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. (SoS 1:2)
Holy dependence is a state in which a woman in faith obeys every command of the LORD to her soul regarding her husband. She is in essence dependent upon Christ, from whom all blessings flow! Surely her God will supply all her needs for the salvation of her soul according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Phil 4:19) and He that spared not His own Son but delivered Him up for her will freely give her all things (Rom 8:32)! Indeed she is dependent upon Him! In her holy dependence on the LORD, she orders the course of her life to live off of Christ. In obedience to His commands her soul is brought life. If she loves Christ, she will keep His Words: and her Father will love her, and They will come unto her, and make Their abode with her (John 14:23). As she keeps His commandments, and keeps His law as the apple of her eye she lives (Prov 7:2)! Ultimately her dependence is on the life giving substance from Christ. For unless she eats His flesh and drinks His blood there is no life within her! And she is able to eat of this life giving Bread of heaven by believing in Christ, by believing unto obedience!
Dear sisters, the commandments and laws of Christ to the woman regarding being dependent upon her husband in the areas described above: subjection unto salvation, acknowledgement of her existence for his sake, the need to learn from him for her sanctification unto salvation, and holy fervor which makes her heart dependent upon him, are what I am referring to in the paragraph above. For her to submit to the LORD in the commands regarding these makes her, by the very nature of these commands, dependent upon her husband in her dependence upon the LORD. This is to the extent that there is no possible way to be dependent upon the LORD and to not have holy dependence upon her husband! Surely her husband’s abode and continuance with her in the flesh is needful for her for her furtherance and joy of faith (Phil 1:24-25)!
Unto Thee O LORD of lords do I gaze as a maid to her mistress
Oh without the light of Thy countenance, without Thy holy succoring I would be in great distress
What must I do oh King of kings that I may in and by You live
Your Holy Spirit speaks that I must to you mine whole trust and obedience give
You have charged me oh God to subject myself meekly, to learn from, to help, to adore, to fervently cleave unto this dear man
Only if Christ be sanctified in mine heart and by Thy grace I can
To sit at the feet of You, O Christ, I must surely sit at the feet of this man whom my soul has longed for
The Words from heaven, the purging fires and floods, all these do proceed from the mouth of him whom I adore
Tis all for by and through Him who speaks from heaven, my true LORD and King
So to render holy dependence unto this man I will do with cheer while I of Thy coming salvation sing
Righteous Independence
The woman’s righteous independence from her husband deals specifically with her standing before the LORD: the LORD’s judgment upon her soul. She will not be able to hide behind the perfect worthy blameless state of her God-given head nor excuse herself by his unbelief either now or on that final Day if she has been disconnected from the life-giving Vine through unbelief. This is not to say that her husband does not bear a role and responsibility to present her perfect before the LORD. We will be speaking of this very responsibility on the part of the man shortly. Rather, she labours, that whether present or absent, she may be accepted of Him. For she must appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that she may receive the things done in her body, according to that she hath done, whether it be good or bad. She therefore knows the terror of the LORD! (2 Cor 5:9-11)
His faith does not resolve her unbelief
His love does not absolve her hateful grief
His faithfulness does not render her faultless in her backsliding
His disobedience does not remove from her obedient abiding
His anger does not tarnish her meek and quiet spirit, my friend this know
His doubt does not muddy the living water which does from her inmost belly flow
Both this man and woman must before the judgment seat stand
Thus may it be that she have a holy terror before the LORD all of her days in this earthen land
The woman’s independence also pertains to her receiving of the blessings of eternal life: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3:28). Likewise, the husbands are commanded to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being HEIRS TOGETHER of the grace of life, lest their prayers be hindered (1 Pet 3:7). The woman is as the man blessed in the heavenly places with every Spiritual blessing in Christ (Eph 1:3)!
Take to heart also that there is interdependence between the man and woman. “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the LORD” (1 Cor 11:11). Furthermore, as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God (1 Cor 11:12).
As you comprehend the rudiments of such independence that the woman has in the sense that her soul is judged and held accountable independently before the LORD, behold the role of the man to present his wife perfect before the LORD. He is given the ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto him the word of reconciliation. He is an ambassador for Christ, as though God did beseech the woman by him: he prays her in Christ’s stead to be reconciled to God! (2 Cor 5:18-20) He preaches, warning her, and teaching her in all wisdom; that he may present her perfect in Christ Jesus: whereunto he also labours, striving according to His working, which worketh in him mightily. (Col 1:28-29) He rejoices in his sufferings for her, and fills up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in his flesh for His body’s sake, which is the church (Col 1:24). She, the virtuous woman, is, in the presence of the LORD Jesus Christ at His coming, his hope, joy, and crown of rejoicing (1 Thess 2:19, Prov 12:4)!
Now we will briefly mention some practical forms of unrighteous dependence and unrighteous independence. Bear in mind that both of these are forms of insubjection. If you be in the Spirit of God, you will clearly ascertain why this is the case. Surely there are a multitude of mysteries of iniquity surrounding dependence and independence…!
Unrighteous Dependence
In her unrighteous neediness for him to be with her, she disrespects his God-given visions and labours. When she prefers for him to be with her than to be away from her doing the will of God she tramples under foot that very purpose for which she was to bear his soul and succor his heart by supporting.
Unrighteous Independence
Dear sisters, be not carried away in the multitude of carnal thoughts surrounding this principle of holy dependence. This holy dependence, through subjection, having your role as a help meet as your primary role in your existence, learning from him, and loving him with holy fervor, is only a continuation of the LORDship of Christ over your soul. Your obedience in these areas is dependent upon where your heart has been gazing, whom it has been trusting, and what it has desired. If you disbelieve the LORD, if you refuse Him who speaks from heaven, there will be fruits of unrighteous dependence and/or independence towards your God-given head, and you will not escape judgment lest you repent. All of this is about the LORDship of Christ in your life beloved sisters! Keep abiding in the same Christ that you have known since you were washed in His soul cleansing blood. All of these aspects of your holy dependence upon the husband, upon the LORD in your husband, are aspects surrounding your saving faith in the eternal Gospel, the glorious atonement, the desire of your new creation for His Kingdom and righteousness, for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven… never let the visions of His glory being revealed to the world through the church dim from your eyes. All of these principles are for that cause dear sisters!
“29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God.30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.31 But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying,32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.” (Matt 22:29-32)
“29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.” (1 Cor 7:29-31)
Go to Chapter 9 Her Tongue
If you have been married for any period of time, surely your heart is aware of the many temptations regarding your dependence and independence towards your God-given head. In this section, I pray that the LORD will guide us to fitting Scriptures and reveal practical examples of the mysteries of iniquity surrounding dependence and independence. To introduce what I seek to describe unto you herein, Biblical righteous orderly dependence and independence will be described. Thereafter I will LORD-willing give practical examples of both unrighteous dependence and unrighteous independence while making the case that these are both manifestations of insubjection of the soul to the God-given head.
Unrighteous Dependence: We are aware of a great temptation to many of us: the idolatry of our husbands. This idolatry involves a heart that is affected more by the husband than the LORD Jesus Christ, longs more for the husband than the LORD Jesus Christ, loves the husband more than the LORD Jesus Christ, depends on the husband more than the LORD Jesus Christ….it is vile idolatry. It is making a false god out of a man of God! It is a false religion. It is rebellion against our King. It is witchcraft!
“10 Said with a loud voice, Stand upright on thy feet. And he leaped and walked.11 And when the people saw what Paul had done, they lifted up their voices, saying in the speech of Lycaonia, The gods are come down to us in the likeness of men.12 And they called Barnabas, Jupiter; and Paul, Mercurius, because he was the chief speaker.13 Then the priest of Jupiter, which was before their city, brought oxen and garlands unto the gates, and would have done sacrifice with the people.14 Which when the apostles, Barnabas and Paul, heard of, they rent their clothes, and ran in among the people, crying out,15 And saying, Sirs, why do ye these things? We also are men of like passions with you, and preach unto you that ye should turn from these vanities unto the living God, which made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and all things that are therein:16 Who in times past suffered all nations to walk in their own ways.17 Nevertheless He left not himself without witness, in that he did good, and gave us rain from heaven, and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness.” (Acts 14:10-17)
Unrighteous Independence: And yet we are also aware of the temptation to isolate ourselves from our husbands, to think, feel, and live as though we do not need them in soul, body, and spirit, to think that we may go on with God in our redemptive course without him, that we can run faster than him or run without him…it is vile pride. It is blatant insubjection. It is a self-exalting belief in self-sufficiency, omnipotence, omniscience…she has placed herself on the throne of her heart and defied the living God!
“17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:18 I counsel thee to buy of Me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with Me.” (Rev 3:17-20)
Righteous Dependence
In the wisdom of God revealed to us in His WORD thus far, it ought to be utterly clear to us that we are and should be dependent upon our husbands. For the very purging fires and washing floods with the WORD that our husbands bring upon us are for the salvation of our souls! His protection of our souls from Eve’s beguilement which is effective only with our humble and meek subjection reveals that we are dependent. The truth that we are created for our men of God reveals that we are dependent; we were created from man and for man. As weaker vessels, they are our heads, our coverings, our lords, our masters, our priests, our kings, our teachers, our shepherds, and all of these things in an under-sense, under Christ the Head and Covering, our LORD of lords, our Master, our atoning High Priest, our King of kings, our great Teacher, the Good Shepherd…oh praise Christ, the pre-eminent one. He is all! (please read “My Soul He Hath Purged” for more edification on the pre-eminence of Christ as a healing balm for the chastening for the idolatry of men).
To enlighten the eyes of our understanding to the dependence which is not only permitted, but is also commanded by the LORD Jesus Christ for us to have towards our husband, we will mention Scriptures we have mentioned prior. Additionally we will turn to several principles that are shown regarding the woman’s righteous dependence from the book of the Song of Solomon. For in this book, the righteous heart of the bride is described, and expounded upon in intricate soul-shaking detail.
Scriptural Aspects of a Woman’s Righteous Dependence
1. Subjection—it is her salvation
“22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body.24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Eph 5:22-24)
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands” (1 Pet 3:1a)
“Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” (1 Pet 3:6)
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Cor 11:3)
6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. (1 Cor 11:6-7)
2. Woman was Created for the Man (therefore she is not independent from but dependent upon him)
8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Cor 11:8-9)
18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. (Gen 2:18-23)
3. She Must be Taught by the Man
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it;26 That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word,27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Eph 5:25-27)
11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. (1 Tim 2:11-12)
5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. (1 Cor 11:5)
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. (1 Pet 3:4)
4. Holy Fervor (effects in the heart, reins, emotions, passions
- Longing/Pursuit
4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.5 Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.6 His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me. (SoS 2:4-6)
By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. 2 I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.3 The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?4 It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me. (SoS 3:1-4)
- Belonging
16 My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. (SoS 2:16)
3 I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies. (SoS 6:3)
- Holy Reverence
11 His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven.12 His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set.13 His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh.14 His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires.15 His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.16 His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (SoS 5:11-16)
- Continual Remembrance
13 A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.(Sos 1:13)
- Single-eyes for the Man
3 As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (SoS 2:3)
10 My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. (SoS 5:10)
- Taking Pleasure in the Man
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. (SoS 1:2)
Holy dependence is a state in which a woman in faith obeys every command of the LORD to her soul regarding her husband. She is in essence dependent upon Christ, from whom all blessings flow! Surely her God will supply all her needs for the salvation of her soul according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Phil 4:19) and He that spared not His own Son but delivered Him up for her will freely give her all things (Rom 8:32)! Indeed she is dependent upon Him! In her holy dependence on the LORD, she orders the course of her life to live off of Christ. In obedience to His commands her soul is brought life. If she loves Christ, she will keep His Words: and her Father will love her, and They will come unto her, and make Their abode with her (John 14:23). As she keeps His commandments, and keeps His law as the apple of her eye she lives (Prov 7:2)! Ultimately her dependence is on the life giving substance from Christ. For unless she eats His flesh and drinks His blood there is no life within her! And she is able to eat of this life giving Bread of heaven by believing in Christ, by believing unto obedience!
Dear sisters, the commandments and laws of Christ to the woman regarding being dependent upon her husband in the areas described above: subjection unto salvation, acknowledgement of her existence for his sake, the need to learn from him for her sanctification unto salvation, and holy fervor which makes her heart dependent upon him, are what I am referring to in the paragraph above. For her to submit to the LORD in the commands regarding these makes her, by the very nature of these commands, dependent upon her husband in her dependence upon the LORD. This is to the extent that there is no possible way to be dependent upon the LORD and to not have holy dependence upon her husband! Surely her husband’s abode and continuance with her in the flesh is needful for her for her furtherance and joy of faith (Phil 1:24-25)!
Unto Thee O LORD of lords do I gaze as a maid to her mistress
Oh without the light of Thy countenance, without Thy holy succoring I would be in great distress
What must I do oh King of kings that I may in and by You live
Your Holy Spirit speaks that I must to you mine whole trust and obedience give
You have charged me oh God to subject myself meekly, to learn from, to help, to adore, to fervently cleave unto this dear man
Only if Christ be sanctified in mine heart and by Thy grace I can
To sit at the feet of You, O Christ, I must surely sit at the feet of this man whom my soul has longed for
The Words from heaven, the purging fires and floods, all these do proceed from the mouth of him whom I adore
Tis all for by and through Him who speaks from heaven, my true LORD and King
So to render holy dependence unto this man I will do with cheer while I of Thy coming salvation sing
Righteous Independence
The woman’s righteous independence from her husband deals specifically with her standing before the LORD: the LORD’s judgment upon her soul. She will not be able to hide behind the perfect worthy blameless state of her God-given head nor excuse herself by his unbelief either now or on that final Day if she has been disconnected from the life-giving Vine through unbelief. This is not to say that her husband does not bear a role and responsibility to present her perfect before the LORD. We will be speaking of this very responsibility on the part of the man shortly. Rather, she labours, that whether present or absent, she may be accepted of Him. For she must appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that she may receive the things done in her body, according to that she hath done, whether it be good or bad. She therefore knows the terror of the LORD! (2 Cor 5:9-11)
His faith does not resolve her unbelief
His love does not absolve her hateful grief
His faithfulness does not render her faultless in her backsliding
His disobedience does not remove from her obedient abiding
His anger does not tarnish her meek and quiet spirit, my friend this know
His doubt does not muddy the living water which does from her inmost belly flow
Both this man and woman must before the judgment seat stand
Thus may it be that she have a holy terror before the LORD all of her days in this earthen land
The woman’s independence also pertains to her receiving of the blessings of eternal life: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3:28). Likewise, the husbands are commanded to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being HEIRS TOGETHER of the grace of life, lest their prayers be hindered (1 Pet 3:7). The woman is as the man blessed in the heavenly places with every Spiritual blessing in Christ (Eph 1:3)!
Take to heart also that there is interdependence between the man and woman. “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the LORD” (1 Cor 11:11). Furthermore, as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God (1 Cor 11:12).
As you comprehend the rudiments of such independence that the woman has in the sense that her soul is judged and held accountable independently before the LORD, behold the role of the man to present his wife perfect before the LORD. He is given the ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto him the word of reconciliation. He is an ambassador for Christ, as though God did beseech the woman by him: he prays her in Christ’s stead to be reconciled to God! (2 Cor 5:18-20) He preaches, warning her, and teaching her in all wisdom; that he may present her perfect in Christ Jesus: whereunto he also labours, striving according to His working, which worketh in him mightily. (Col 1:28-29) He rejoices in his sufferings for her, and fills up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in his flesh for His body’s sake, which is the church (Col 1:24). She, the virtuous woman, is, in the presence of the LORD Jesus Christ at His coming, his hope, joy, and crown of rejoicing (1 Thess 2:19, Prov 12:4)!
Now we will briefly mention some practical forms of unrighteous dependence and unrighteous independence. Bear in mind that both of these are forms of insubjection. If you be in the Spirit of God, you will clearly ascertain why this is the case. Surely there are a multitude of mysteries of iniquity surrounding dependence and independence…!
Unrighteous Dependence
- She refuses to seek the LORD apart from her husband (and thus denies the LORD Jesus Christ, the great High Priest)
- She cannot draw near to the LORD without her husband (and thus denies the LORD Jesus Christ, the great High Priest)
- She cannot live peaceably without his presence in the flesh
- She cannot live peaceably without his expressions of love
- She is dependent on him because she is covetous for mammon that he provides
In her unrighteous neediness for him to be with her, she disrespects his God-given visions and labours. When she prefers for him to be with her than to be away from her doing the will of God she tramples under foot that very purpose for which she was to bear his soul and succor his heart by supporting.
Unrighteous Independence
- She doubts his discernments and utterances and seeks her own revelations
- Her heart grows cold in holy fervor, Spiritual affections, and holy marital passions
- She does not comprehend the need to be taught by him and thus does not long for this experience
- She neglects his soul, and thus the reason for her existence
- She fears the hurt of his absence, neglect, or lack of charity and thus isolates her heart and soul from him (this is a strange form of unrighteous dependence)
Dear sisters, be not carried away in the multitude of carnal thoughts surrounding this principle of holy dependence. This holy dependence, through subjection, having your role as a help meet as your primary role in your existence, learning from him, and loving him with holy fervor, is only a continuation of the LORDship of Christ over your soul. Your obedience in these areas is dependent upon where your heart has been gazing, whom it has been trusting, and what it has desired. If you disbelieve the LORD, if you refuse Him who speaks from heaven, there will be fruits of unrighteous dependence and/or independence towards your God-given head, and you will not escape judgment lest you repent. All of this is about the LORDship of Christ in your life beloved sisters! Keep abiding in the same Christ that you have known since you were washed in His soul cleansing blood. All of these aspects of your holy dependence upon the husband, upon the LORD in your husband, are aspects surrounding your saving faith in the eternal Gospel, the glorious atonement, the desire of your new creation for His Kingdom and righteousness, for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven… never let the visions of His glory being revealed to the world through the church dim from your eyes. All of these principles are for that cause dear sisters!
“29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God.30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.31 But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying,32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.” (Matt 22:29-32)
“29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.” (1 Cor 7:29-31)
Go to Chapter 9 Her Tongue